Yes but, no but…anything but BUT, please!

It’s got to be one of the most annoying three lettered words on the planet – “BUT…!”

“That’s a great idea but…!”
“I’d love to help but…!”
“I wish I could do that but…!”“I like you / your proposal / your product but…!”
“I love you but…!”

The real problem with “BUT”, whether in life, love or sales, is that you’re often not sure whether it’s true or a lie. Is it real or imaginary, in my head or in the buyer’s head? Does the person really mean they like my product, they like me, they like my idea and they would buy if they could “BUT”, or are they just making it up? Or indeed, am I imagining a “but” where there isn’t one?

Well as you may have encountered in SALES as in life, “BUT” is one of the deadliest of words. It’s a real show stopper and barrier to success. “BUT” can do extreme damage on two levels:

1) In the seller's head i.e. “…but I can’t!” (mind set)
2) In the buyer's head or stated i.e. “Great but actually I’m ok as I am” (verbalised or implied objection)

Let’s think first about the seller’s head or mindset and what’s going on in there which is truly going to limit or prevent success (maybe this is you, someone in your team or someone close to you). When I think of seller, I mean in the broadest possible context. I think of selling products and services, selling ideas to our team or board, selling ourselves at an interview, selling ourselves when looking for a pay rise…the list goes on. Too often lately I’ve heard statements like:

“Well I’ll ask for a pay rise but I’ve zero chance in the current climate”“I’m going for an interview but I’ve already resigned myself to not getting it”
“We’re up for the awards but really we’ve no chance – I never win anything”“I’m going to meet this prospect again but frankly I think it’s a waste of time”.

There are a few common themes here:

• I’m not good enough;
• Resignation and defeat before the battle commences,
• Predicting a negative outcome based on past experience,
• Not recognising your own ability to positively control outcomes.

I’m not going to go into complex coaching or NLP theory here in relation to the above; this post needs to be brief (!). I just want to say, STOP! Stop allowing “internal” negative beliefs or external negative noise (media, colleagues, family, and friends!) disempower you and limit your potential.

As I see it, we all have two options. Either:

1. STOP and don’t bother or
2. GO and bother with a positive attitude, self-belief and passion.

Bothering without believing is not a viable option! It’s a waste of time and energy and leads to despair.

If you don’t think you’re worthy or likely to succeed, how can you possibly hope to inspire the other person and get them to believe you are worthy? We believe in people who believe in themselves and their ability to succeed and deliver.

Ask yourself some challenging questions:

Why not you this time? What’s really holding you back – is this true? Do you know it to be true?What if it wasn’t true – how would you approach things differently? How would this feel, look, be? What could you achieve as a result?
What’s changed so that a different outcome might be possible to previous experience? You’re a different person, the other person is different (different day, month, year, experiences), the world is different?
(For more on this read Katie Byron's “Loving What Is”)

I have observed, over many years of sales coaching in the field, the power of positive versus negative beliefs prior to entering a room or going into a meeting – the person who truly believes, wins; the other person resigns themselves to the scrapings or rejection.

The question should never be if you are going to win or lose, it should be about HOW you are going to perform to your maximum potential to ensure you deliver the performance of a lifetime and thus position yourself to reap the ultimate prize – the sale, the job, the pay rise. You cannot control the outcome, only what leads to and influences the outcome - “YOU!”

Success truly starts with self-belief. If someone else can, so too can you! Why not?

“There is only one cause of unhappiness: the false beliefs you have in your head, beliefs so widespread, so commonly held, that it never occurs to you to question them” – Anthony de Millo

I’ll finish with the story of the shoe manufacturer looking to win new business as his local market place was shrinking.He hires a sales rep to go out to an exotic island off the coast and look for business. The rep comes back deflated and says: “Well, that was a real waste of time. No-one out there wears shoes or has even heard of shoes!”. The business continues to decline and the sales rep loses his job.

A few months later, before throwing in the towel, the business owner hires another sales rep and, sure that there must be business off the mainland, sends this rep out to another off-shore island. A couple of days later, the rep comes back ecstatic with a full order book. “How amazing”, he says, “What an opportunity – no-one out there wears shoes or has even heard of shoes!”…

In my next post I’ll share with you my thoughts on “BUT” from your buyer or prospect, typically called “objections”. What are they really saying and what do you need to do to overcome, remove, and reduce these barriers to your sale? If you’d like to contribute some ideas or questions, please add your thoughts below.

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